toshiya_kurai

I found this DBZ Fanfic and I laughed my ass off! Seriously, I almost peed myself.
It's hilarious if you know the DBZ characters and story.
**I did not make this, this is simply a repost to share this awesome rockin literature.

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Vegeta is a god. If you did not know that, you are obviously not a fan of DBZ. Either that or you own a penis and you do not wish to stick it up his ass. Shame on you.

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Vegeta rides down upon his magical thundercloud, wielding a large bronze thunderbolt that magically conducts electricity into the worthless sack of jelly that is your body. With a transcendental crown of laurel and a toga that proves how manly and immortal this Saiyan war god is-- strike that. Vegeta is Zeus. He is the moon, the sky, the Earth, the sun, the entire universe.
He pwns you.
Glorify him. Worship him. Brush his hair.

---

STORY ONE-- SMOOCHY SMOOCHY, KISSY KISSY

"Smooch, smooch, smooch," said Vegeta as he lavished thousands of wet, sloppy kisses that had lots of tongue slipped in there, upon Bulma. "Smooch, I love you, smooch."
Bulma sat up in her lacy bra, the contents spilling out almost indecently if not for the boobie tassles that covered her nipples. The same rosy nipples that Vegeta liked to pinch and pluck and lick. Only this time she urged Vegeta to kiss her mouth first before traveling southward.
"I must make fiery passionate love to you although I'm an alien prince with no background of being a master lover or a virgin," he moaned as Bulma climbed atop the table and began to put the boobie tassels to work.
Vegeta's eyes turned into swirls and watched her fleshy lumps gyrate like clothes spinning in a washing machine. Yamcha was watching in the window, pervert that he was, and hollered, " Yeah, baby! Shake it like it was 794 AD!"
Vegeta promptly Gallic-gunned his ass and tore off Bulma's pasties, giving her his sly smirk™. Feeling masculine and manly in her dainty, pale arms, Vegeta ripped off his pants, smirked™ again for the zillionth time before Bulma smacked his smirking™ face.
"Stop your damn smirking™ and fuck me already!" she demanded, digging her nails into his sinewy flesh.
Vegeta smirked™ again because he wasn't able to contort his facial muscles into an actual smile. He thrust inside of Bulma's hot, wet, tight, bald, polka-dotted pussy several times before they both succumbed to a blissful orgasm that rocked the very foundations of Akira Toriyama's world. Needless to say volcanoes erupted, earthquakes shook Satan City, and Goku rolled over in his grave.
Vegeta pulled his giant dick out of Bulma, which was now flaccid because he put all his sper-ummm inside her so they could all race to see who could attach to an egg first. A shrimpy sper-ummm made it there first, hissing at the others until they went away.
"Mine! Mine! Mine!" the sper-ummm declared vehemently in a high-pitched voice. Eerily similar to Puar's.
Nine months later, Vegeta pulled the pistol out of his sock drawer upon seeing a strand of lavender hair. The funeral was short and everyone had jelly-filled donuts afterwards because everyone is always hungry after a funeral.

---

STORY TWO-- YAMCHA, THE EVIL VILLAIN GUY OTHERWISE KNOWN AS AN ANTAGONIST

"Bitch!" screamed Yamcha as he slapped Bulma, sending her crashing into the wall.
The impact of the blow crushed her skull, blood poured out from every orifice in her body, yet she began to cry through her unconsciousness. Yamcha kicked her repeatedly in the stomach until she began to bleed there too, and she lay in a mangled heap after Yamcha snapped her neck.
A couple of hours later, Vegeta sauntered into the house, beams of light illuminating his godliness as he saw his blue-haired goddess bent over sobbing in the corner. Blood crusted her face and her body, but Vegeta didn't care. He scooped her up into his arms, kissing away her tears.
"Did that bastard Yamcha do this to you?"
"Yes! Murder him! Cut his freakin' balls off!" Bulma whooped as Vegeta flew out a window despite the glass that splintered. She slipped out of her damsel-in-distress costume and counted the money she would get for Yamcha's deceased ass on two fingers.
He flew and flew and flew until he found the scoundrel sitting in a bar, smoking a joint and inebriated beyond normal human capacity. Vegeta roundhoused Yamcha's ass, then beat him into a bloody mess. Yamcha's head hung on to his body by a thin strip of skin, but then Vegeta tore off his head and threw it at Tien, Yamcha's homosexual lover.
Tien lamented the loss of his boyfriend, but went back home to the mountains and sodomized with Chiaotzu instead.
"I killed him," Vegeta smirked™ as he carried Bulma back into the house and ravished her.

---

STORY THREE-- UKE VEGETA (more like SAS-UKE VEGETA, amirite?)

"Oh, Kakarot!" moaned Vegeta as the big, sexy beast named Goku pumped himself into Prince Veggie mercilessly, leaving a whole lot of bodily fluids to stain the sheets and the body of his prince.
"So...tight!" Goku groaned.
"Oh, Kakarot!" Vegeta blushed, hiding demurely behind one his gloves.
"NOM NOM NOM, YOU ARE MINE, VEGGIE," Goku growled as he bit into Vegeta's sexy caramel-colored shoulder which tasted more like sweat and not caramel. "NOM NOM NOM NOM."
Blood spattered everywhere much like the unnamed bodily fluids and they both laid there, spent. That is until Goku sported another massive erection and the author of this story doesn't have any clue about priapism.
"Let's have another round, shall we?" Goku said as he crushed Vegeta's lips to his own.

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STORY FOUR-- SEME VEGETA

This does not exist. Kakarot's spoon belongs in Vegeta's jellyjar.

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STORY FIVE-- THE THREESOME PLEASESOME
"Okay, Kakarot," Vegeta said as he straddled Bulma's hips. "You get behind me, because you're the strongest Saiyan in the entire universe and you probably have more stamina than me."
"Right," Goku agreed as he grabbed Veggie's butt. "Let's get this party started!"
Bulma smirked, but Vegeta smirked™ with his trademark and Bulma frowned. She would have to pay a trip to the patent office, except that the author got all confuzzled and forgot which was a copyright or a trademark. Maybe they were they same thing.
But that doesn't matter though, because the three of them moved like a well-oiled machine. More like a well-sweated machine. Goku's skin slapped against Vegeta, Vegeta's skin slapped against Bulma, and Bulma's skin slapped against the bed.
After they were all done smearing the bed with their bodily fluids, Bulma laid in Vegeta's arms, Vegeta laid in Goku's arms and Goku asked where the cheese was that Vegeta promised him if he would have a threeway with them.
"It's in the fridge, Kakarot."
Goku bounded off to the kitchen upon hearing this.
Miles away, by Mount Paozu, Chi-Chi sat bawling on the recliner, putting in her hair-rollers and smearing facial cream all over her tear-streaked countenance. Goten sat on the floor with Trunks playing kissy-face because Trunks saw "Daddy kissing Kakarot under the mistletoe last night." Gohan was out in Satan City pimping Videl out to various thugs and collecting his money.
Chi-Chi read her yaoi doujinshi and lamented that Bulma always got to be the woman in the threesome. She didn't know why. Chi-Chi had bigger boobs.

Gobble Gobble Gobble
Free grub Rocks!

Every year I get excited for this con, and every year at the end, I always end up hating it.
( Prepare to be Offended! )

The anime banzai schedule has just been posted xD
omg- Jrock & Dissidia brawl? I think I am going to poop my pants @____@
Anyways, so the opening ceremonies start at 10:30 but I'm hoping to be there at 10am.
If anyone needs a ride, or would like to sleep over at my place on thursday night, so we can get ready friday morning together, let me know! I'll make rice balls & Gyoza for our din-din Thursday night ^.^ I'll also have my car at the con so we can shove all our cosplays in it xD
How many times can I make xD face?
OMG, I haven't even looked at saturday or sunday schedule yet and I'm already super excited...
(^ o ^)~~~ $%#@?&

I'm going to west hollywood in Nov to see Dir en gry. I'm super excited cuz for this tour- Diru has booked nothing but 21+ venues xD Tht means this will be a GREAt show.
I want to be front row, and scream for Kyo as loud as I can ^^ I'm happy I get to see him again, so soon (it's only been a year!)

However, I do get the choice of seeing them on Nov 18 in Denver, and I'd get to see Warumono too. But Denver sucks and is cold, and Nov 18th sucks and is on a wednesday.
So unless Waru kicks and screams and forces me to see the show with him, then I won't be going to Hollywood.

Hmmm... maybe I'll get to see Shion too, and I'll kick him in the face xD 

and I get paid for it xDDDD
I am the Kefka that won ^o^
Kefka is totally a Bishonen, right up there with Ganondorf xDDD lmao!!!

Since Gir is so awesome, of course I can't resist throwing him a party (especially for his birthday!)

Gir's 22end Birthday Bash!
Bring hash, ass, and grass!
oh, and booze too, booze is always cool :)
or food -grub is always good to prevent the hangovers ^^
Place: My place
When: THIS FRIDAY (sept 18)
Time: I don't really care. I got a photoshoot @6, and should be done around 8, so I'd say 8ish or 9ish to start.
And of course- we drink until we pass out :D

Some booze and snacks will be provided, but don't try to mooch off my bday present to Gir, get yer own! (Arrr!)

Disney to buy Marvel
news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090831/en_nm/us_disney_marvel_8
Hasn't Disney RUINED enough with Final Fantasy? They have to go after Poor old man Stan Lee as well?
I hate Disney so much! I wish that old fucker was never born, his mama was raped by Micky Mouse and left in a tree to die while Simba waited to eat her!
I seriously HATE Disnay... They are just like fucking Wal-Mart! Only trash and welfare cases shop there >:o Plus everything that comes from Wal-Mart is recalled for having dirty Taco pee on it that causes people to continue the cycle of Welfare!!!
I hate Walfare ppl too... >=O

I'm going back to playing Dissidia- never noticeing the outside world... it just makes me angry...

So I went and bought FF Dissida yesterday and as I was passing Black Cat comics, I noticed they had a flyer up saying that that fucking gay retarded homo from that god awful piece of shit movie REPO was going to be there THIS saturday. Not only is he just going to be there, but his ugly ass will be singing too.

As most of you know- I FUCKING HATE that movie.
So what I am gonna do?
I'm going to go down there are harass that fucker until he A) cries B) developes an eating disorder or C) promises to kill that movie. (or D) I'll just mug the fucker!)
I'm going to ruin this guys life so much, that I SERIOUSLY plan to go, take a shit on a plastic bag in the parking lot, and throw it at him when I see him.
Hopefully I'll be so drunk and hungover that I can vomit on him too :)

That is how much i hate REPO.

And for those of you who are now butt hurtin' after reading this- i don't care. I'm just having FUN. Imagine what I'd do if I was MAD
My garden is producing A LOT of tomatoes, maybe I'll drive by and throw some of those too :)
Time to put some eggs outside so they'll be ready by saturday xD
If you too are Anti-REPO, feel free to join the clan ^^

 

Since hearing the news, 2 days ago, I have found it difficult to bring the heartbreak to the rest of the world. Though it may be everywhere, some people still are lucky enought to not know.
  
The Jrock world is shook as the death of Jasmine You (August 9, 2009) -bassist of Versailles- is confirmed.
It has been known, for some time, that You has been ill, and was even planning to break from music to focus on his recovery.
The urgent bulletins posted since his passing have stated as soon as his family is notified, more details will be reported to fans. Understandably, Versailles' touring and recording activities will be postponed for the time being. There is no word if the band will dispand, or find a new bass player.

He was a great musican, and gave it his all until the end; very thing we loved from him, took him from us.
He lives on forever in the music he gave to the world.
Good bye, Jasmine you...

The Philharmonic Quintet lets go of an angel, and returns him to heaven...

Would anyone be interested in going to Anime Vegas with me to see Alsdead?
The entire convention is only $50, but I don't think I could do that (super poor)
So if I can get some money to fix my car, I'll probably drive down there for the Alsdead show and leave after or sleep in my car.
Though I am trying to convince Sam to let me crash on his sofa, he'll probably be going to Anime Vegas as well.
It's not set in stone, and it will only happen if everything goes well, but I CAN'T MISS ALSDEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are too amazing to miss.

Today is the 24th of July- good ol' morman day!

I had an interesting coversation with Milky the other day...
The mormans ran from the government back in the day so that they could marry multiple people and live an illegal lifestyle. That wasn't too long ago either. There are plenty of records, writings, etc (unlike all these fake Jesus fables)
And yet the mormans deny gays having the right to be married?

Hmmm... that's kinda... really fucked up.

I have a feeling that the mormans wanted so many wives as an attempted to hide and cover their own gayness.
or to cover up their animalistic intentions they do on other animals...

 This was my first year attending Ax09, and my first real convention outside of Anime Banzai (which sucks!) The turn out for this year's Anime Expo was over 44,000 people! I'd say about 70% were in costume.
Day 0 (July 1)
I wasn't able to attend Day 0, which is an entire day of just waiting in line to register

Day 1 (July 2)
My flight was delayed 2 hours. NEVER fly Delta. Not only was my flight delayed, but also over booked- just like all Delta flights that day. A few flights were even canceled.
When we finally made it to LA, we were charged an extra $90 because Koreans are dumbasses. That's right, dumbasses. And not to mention that from mine and my party's experiences in Korea town- They are all mean ass holes. If you don't speak Korean, you don't exist. Well hey, at least our country doesn't suck enough that we had to move to a 'little' version of it in another.
Let's just say that by the end of the trip, I totally over-drived and Grand Summoned that place. *Note: Never stay at Quality Inn located in Korea Town, LA*
Anyways! We made it to AX but by that time, we missed Battle of the Bands, and the convention was closing! We later found out that all the Adult events and parties have been moved to a Hotel down the street. At least I now know that for next year...

At least we were able to get drunk at the Airport.

Day 2 (July 3)
I decided to wear my I-no cosplay outfit this day, and my cyber decadence outfit at night. 
As soon as I arrived at the convention I was attacked my cameras. I seriously couldn't walk 5 feet without being stopped. And when you are stopped, you may be posing for one person, but as people see that you are already posing, they will run over and also begin taking pictures of you. So a group of 2 photographers can easily grow to 20 within 30 sec.
When I first got there, I was looking for Daisuke Ishiwataru. No one knew where or who he was! T_T  Long story short, I wasn't able to see him, but did find his signing/panel line.
If you've never been to Expo, they do this stupid thing were you have to attend a panel (usually about 2 hours prior to a signing/ meet & greet) and at the panel, is were you purchase tickets that will later get you into the signing. If you don't have a ticket, you have to wait until all ticket holders have seen the guest and then you can wait in line with all the other non ticket holders. 
I met many people who either couldn't find the panel, never heard of the panel, or couldn't even find the signing rooms. I would be mad, but I went ti Expo planning on seeing anything because this thing is so large, you would have to attend 3 years to catch on to how things work @__@
Day 2 was fun. I was the only I-no cosplayer that day, but did see a lot of Sol Badguy's, May's, and a few other Guilty Gear fans. The great part was that only very few people didn't know who I was. Every year I go to Anime Banzai, I encounter maybe... 2 (if lucky) people who know of GG.
I was able to meet Shion that day, though I didn't recognize him until I heard his voice xD
Day 2 was mostly spent walking a few feet and getting mauled, walk a few feet, get attacked, etc. Inside the dealer's room, I must've been in there 3 hours, but only got half way through it from being stopped every few feet.
That night, I was stupid and let my party convince me not to go to the Lolita Tea party, and go to the Rave instead (big mistake- always stick with original plans x_X). I changed my clothes and went back to the convention, where we found a HUGE line of people waiting to go to the Rave (this was one of the events held at the hotel down the street). We decided to take a cab, and were able to see the HUGE FF13 poster ads.
We got to the rave and I was able to get drunk :) But the rave room was small, and no one really knew how to dance. Oh well, that's another learning experience to improve next year n__n

The Final Fantasy 13 adds

Vyle vs Dalsim

 

 

 

Day 3 (July 4)
I think Day 3 was the best day of them all! Though it was July fourth, it had nothing to do with America or fireworks ^o^ I wore my I-no outfit again, but this time, as soon as I walked into the convention center there was a big group of other Guilty Gear people standing there. Again, I was the only I-no cosplayer, but there seemed to be more GG than the previous day.
Pretty much the same thing happened on day 3 as day 2, only Vyle wore his Nikki (Chrono Cross) cosplay so people wanted his picture too.
This was the day I met all the Jrockers and such. I met Auncia at their signing, and was able to get tix to the mini live with Satsuki and 2 other Idols :)
So, again, Day 3 was much like day 2. At night I wore my Jrock ogre outfit to the mini live. I met an awesome Hide cosplayer, his wife, Slut Face, Tomo, all the Jshoxx crue, and various other fantastic Jrockers! I also got the Auncia drum stick this night as well :)
I didn't get shit faced like I wanted, but there will always be next year :D

 

 

Me with Auncia! (The singer couldn't stop starring at my boobs xD)

this pic was in LA weekly ^o^

 

 

Day 4
I didn't cosplay at all this day. I wanted to be able to look at junk and walk around, so I just wore my Cyber Decadence outfit. I was still stopped a lot for photos, but no where near as much when I cosplayed.
Day 4 ended early due to stupid gay fucking pervert faggot Micheal Jackson's maggot filled ass hole being dead. I'm glad that fucker died. It did seem odd to have his memorial the same place that was filled with thousands of little kids though. 
Anyways, Day 4 was more enjoyable because I was able to walk around and move :) I bought a new Alsdead, SuG, and a few jrock posters ^o^ Sadly, no where had Art Cube or any industrial/EBM cds. I'll have to try again next year, and bring a few hundred to devote to expanding my Jrock collection.
The convention wrapped up at 5pm, but people still cosplayed. There was even a mini rave where I was known as the girl who was louder than any PA system xD I started many chants, and guided the crowd to various spots- all with only my power lungs ^.^ I don't think very many people are louder than me.
Day 4 was spent drinking. Lex had her camel pack filled with 2 large bottles of wine, and I had a big bottle of Jim Beam. We got drunk at the con, and afterword trashed in Little Tokyo where we managed to find our way to.
After our adventures in Little Tokyo (which japanese are so much nicer than Koreans!) Vyle and I had to go stay with his friend so we could catch our 7am flight back home.

I thought I'd be going crazy with all the Japanese Men around me, but only saw this sexy beast, and even then- he wasn't the best looking japanese guy I'd ever seen. Guess I'll have to go to more conventions to oggle at all the hotties ^.^

He didn't speak english, but I was able to talk to him a little bit (mostly saying sugio cuz I was drunk xD
Which now that I think about it- Noyz and I were drunk when we ran up to this guy. I bet we rank of booze and scarred him XDD


So what's in store for next year?
I'll be attending Anime Expo 2010 for sure! Not only did I promise all the jrockers and cosplayers I met that I would, but I plan to be cosplaying far better costumes.
I want to do a Dragon Ball Z one (either Gohan or Vegeta) just because I got sick of seeing so many awful plastic/felt wigs. I want to be a Super Sayian  REAL hair!
I am also planning to do Miki (Chrono Cross) so Vyle and I can go as a pair.
Eventually, when I get massive hooters, I plan to do all the elite babes (Morgan, Felicia, Mai, Junko, etc) But I'll just have to wait and see if I got hooters by then or not...

Next year I am also hoping to make it to SakuraCon and Comic Con :)

*You can see all my Ax09 pix on my myspace*

I'm so stupid. I thought my sewing machine was broken for the past week when it was on the 'bobbin thread' setting xO God, I am so dumb!!!

So I started my I-no costume, and my god, my sewing is AMAZING!!!
I want to make this costume not so much as a costume, but more like regular clothing. So unlike what my lazy ass did last time, I'm properly hemming and seaming everything! I even made it so that the white side of the viyl doesn't show from side views of my costume.
I've got the entire jacket part done, in only one day., If I keep at it, I bet I could finish it today, but instead I am typing about it on livejournal xD

So it probably won't be done til tomorrrow, cuz I got other crap to do today.
I have to go look at phone, I'm not getting a new phone til the 30th, because I would rather have my phone bill due at a time like that, rather than the middle of the month when I have drank away all my money.

I'm still not sure if I'll be doing my half ass nana cosplay. My hair is too short in thr front, so I may just be a jrock ogre monster thing...hmmm...
I cant wait til I get to the airport to leave. I have to wear my wig, huge boots, and my huge, puffy lolita skirt and pedi while traveling so I'll have more room in my bags xD     I can totally tell that I'm going to be searched a million times.
However, when I come back, Vyle and I will have 2 free checked bags, since we are flying jet blue when we come home. ^^
Which means I can buy plenty of crap :D

It's looking like I'll be shipping my, well, Vyle's bass to LA to use with my cosplay. He's also shipping a bunch of his clothing.
FINALLY we can dress to our full extent and not feel like we're overdressed :D

Anime Expo is less than a week away and I haven't even started making my cosplay xD I shouldn't really take that long, but I'll probably be doing that all this weekend and next week.
I'm still debating if I'm going to bring my guitar with me. I really want to, but when I see Daisuke I'll be too ashamed to carry it around with me. lol

OMG! In less than a week I'll be dancing at Dark Castle, watching bad ass bands like Moi Dix Mois, and Auncia, PLUS, Shion and I are going to be so drunk, AX will seem like one happy blur ^.^
I have to remeber to keep an eye on Noyz (She gets drunk fast!) and also to watch my alcohol intake. Being at sea level, we should be getting trashed like 4 year olds :)
I also have to remeber not to lose Vyle. He's never been around that many Otaku, and I think he might get scarred and if I lose him xD

I'm switching to Boost mobile, so I'll have a working phone out there.
OMG I can't wait to see Shion! He'll be running Jshoxx Radio during the con, but he has promised plenty of Jack & Coke.
I'm meeting up with my friend who will be Wakka, and another chick at Moi Dix Mois.  Eventually, while I am there, I have to see Shawna as well! (maybe Arely too ^^)
Wow, this is going to be the greatest weekend of my life!!!
For once in my life I actually feel happy (SUPER HAPPY), and don't care if it goes well, or wrong.
I hope a crazy old pervert kidnaps me or kills me so I don't have to come back to Utah.

I should grab a rental guide and see how much places go for there. Oh well, I'd be perfectly living in a crack shack's closet if it meant living somwhere else (somewhere cool that is)
This will be like looking into the future!!

I am crazy for Sugozo!!! *o*

And some Artcube xD
I liked S more when he was covered in Blood, that was sexy!

itunes music store sucks, but at least I was able to get oodles of 2BULLET!!!!!!

Ryonia is one of the sweetie and most dear person I have ever met!

BlamHoney is also having an audition for the new Vocalist. Poo, I wish I could try out! >_<
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Anime Expo has just annouced that MOI DIX MOIS will be playing at ANIME EXPO!!!!!!!!!!!

They are a good band, not my fave but they are a big band! I can't believe they got mana to show his face again xD
OMG!!!! Moi dix mois AND Daisuke?!!!!
This is like, great musician overload XDDDD 

I'm on so many fucking sites, this one is now going to friends only.


I'm now on blogspot.com
http://vicious-kurai.blogspot.com/
I think I was on it before, but I join so much shit I can never remember my passwords, yet alone which user name I decided to use.
Nikki has one, so I should be able to talk to her. At least my comp can handle it this time, last time it crashed when her chat cam thingy came on.
Anyways. another side, more bull shit for me to say and defect the internet world with my madness xD

Nikki's bday was okay, we didn't really have an all out party, but plenty of smoke was.. in the water? xD


Let's Rock!

Been with V~ber for 2 years now, WOW! How scary xD
I bought him a new bong xD Seems every present I get him is drugs or drug related...except for the $300 boots I got him for his bday awhile back. But I guess he could use those to walk and get drugs o___O

So I'm reverting back to my super dorky ways, the way I used to be.
I joined Fanfic.net and i think I'll start doing all that garbage again :P I'm also starting to make YTP (thats youtube poop). I'm not sure how that will go, since I don't think anything I do is very funny, but at the same time, I love fart jokes and ass humor. It took me a few hours just to get Mario to say "Dinner" and I'm having trouble finding clips/sounds from Tyranosaurus Alan. I want to throw in Shin-Chan's Ass Dance, which I don't think anyone has done before.
"I'm so hungry, I could Ass Dance!"

Anyways, I dont think what I'm talking about makes much sense to anyone here, so I'll shut up now...

blip.fm/kurai